Trading In One Form of Oppressor For Another: Why I No Longer Look at BWE sites

The rise of BWE (Black Women Empowerment) blogs has been beneficial in helping many Black American women live their lives for the better and look out for their well being. Many of these blogs provide helpful tips in improving one’s lifestyle for the better and avoiding destructive life choices and decisions. Reading Black Woman Empowerment blogs such as Evia Moore’s Black Female Interracial Dating and Marriage, Khadija Nassif’s Muslim Bushido and Sojourner’s Passport, Faith Dow’s Acts of Faith and Love, Halima Anderson’s To Date A White Guy and One Less Soldier’s Not Your Girl Friday has been beneficial to my emotional and mental well being due to the fact that I learned to put myself and my own interests before I can help others. However, the messiness, back to back drama, worship of White men among other things has lead me to stop frequenting such spaces. Hence, I believe many women in Black Woman Empowerment spaces are trading in one form of oppressor(Black man) for another(White man).

Black Women Empowerment blogs started in 2007 amidst the controversy of the rapes and violence that occurred in the Dunbar Village. Blogs such as Khadija Nassif’s Muslim Bushido and Faith Dow’s Acts of Faith and Love wrote about the horrors of what went on in the Dunbar Village. These bloggers used this incident as a way to inform other Black women about the dangers of residing in predominately Black areas. As a solution to facing the dangerous living conditions in Black residential neighborhoods, these bloggers suggested that Black women leave ”Blackistan”, the name whom BWE bloggers gave to Black residential areas. Instead, many of these bloggers promoted Black women and children to move into safer, neighborhoods and making allies with genuine people. However, what many of these blogs have failed to address, is how to navigate White and mixed arenas while still holding onto pride in their race. Growing up in mostly White areas isn’t a guarantee that a woman would be much safer and more accepted. Merely moving into a non Black area isn’t a guarantee of a  happy and more fulfilled life. Living in non Black areas also comes with it’s own disadvantages as well. I know this from experience because I grew up in mostly White and mixed areas. On the other hand, I do believe that Black women and children should definitely move out of Black, residential areas because the majority of those areas are dangerous to their safety and well being. Personally, I highly suggest moving into well maintained, racially mixed area, where everyone looks out for one another and respects racial and cultural differences of their neighbors. Though the original BWE founders mean well and actively promoted the safety and well being of Black women, I don’t think their stragety of moving into White neighborhoods and expecting to be accepted and treated with respect is realistic.

These blogs also promoted that Black American women remove financial support from misogynistic Black male entertainers such as Kevin Hart, 50 Cents, DL Hughley due to their lack of respect and reciprocation to Black women’s interests. Many of these entertainers have put down Black women in the media or on social media. Many of them have used sexist and colorist standards to judge Black women. Yet if it wasn’t for Black women, these entertainers wouldn’t even be famous because it was Black women who financially funded and supported these men’s careers. These entertainers would marry interracially and take the money that they earned and bring the money to the communities of other races instead of their own communities. Worst of all, these Black males don’t pay any mind to Black women’s interests or issues despite Black women’s devotion and dedication to Black men’s plight in society. Hence the reason why BWE bloggers promote Black women removing financial, emotional and physical support from Black men and their projects. When it comes to where I spend and put my money, I hardly ever watch Black centric movies nor do I listen to Hip Hop or R & B due to the blatant misogyny, colorism and sexism these Black male entertainers express in the media.

There is controversy over BWE bloggers’ insistence that using biracial women to portray Black American women in the media is erasing Black women’s image in the media. Many people feel that these bloggers are attacking biracial women instead of counteracting colorism. However, I believe that these BWE bloggers are trying to promote the distinction between biracial and Black women to preserve the authenticity and phenotype of Black women. Their concern was over the fact that Black women’s phenotype is being erased and promoted by biracial and non Black women portraying them in the media. Nonetheless, many Black Americans insist on including biracial women in the Black category to justify and cover up the fact that many Black men aren’t attracted to women who reflect his image. And to erase Black femininity and uphold White women as the symbol of beauty. Personally, I do agree that having biracial women and racially ambiguous looking women erases Black womanhood because it upholds White supremacist beauty standards. That isn’t right. Thus the reason why it is important to uphold, protect and define the image of Black women in America and on a global scale.

Promoting weight loss to Black women was another form of advice in many BWE Empowerment spaces. Weight isn’t a huge concern to me because I am naturally slim and always been that way. My size is seen as the ideal in mainstream American society. Unfortunately, weight is a concern for many other Black American women. As a collective, Black American women are either overweight or obese. 82% of Black American women are either overweight or obese. Out of this percentage, around 56.6% of these women are obese while the other 25.4% of these women are overweight. That was why weight loss and maintaining a healthy weight was highly promoted in these spaces. But many women complained that these BWE blogs shamed overweight Black women and promoted Black women to be slim. However, there is some truth to the rampant fat shaming in these spaces, because I saw it alot when I used to frequent them. One of these bloggers even went as far to say that White men wouldn’t even look in their direction because White men ”don’t like” fat girls. Though I am not overweight or obese, I find much of the fat shaming repulsive because shaming wouldn’t force a woman to lose weight or maintain a healthy and balanced diet in an effort to lose that weight.

Interracial dating and marriage was promoted by the likes of Evia Moore and Halima Anderson on their blogs to encourage Black women to broaden their dating and marriage options. Way too many Black American women limit themselves to Black American men and refuse to look outside of their race. Yet the ratio between Black American men and women is 4:1 . Many Black American men aren’t interested in dating Black American women. I believe that broadening their dating options to include non Black men in their dating pool and vetting men based on their character and compatibility is a better alternate instead. Expanding your dating options would higher Black American women’s chances in finding a decent man to settle down with. There isn’t anything wrong with preferring your own race but limiting yourself to a specific race hurts a woman’s chances in finding a decent man to settle down with.

Here is an example of an ”ideal” coupling in BWE Empowerment spaces

bw wm couple

At first, I found reading and frequenting BWE spaces helpful and meaningful to my growth. I was happy to find other Black women, that were interested in bettering themselves and other Black women. For the first time in my life, I found a Black orientated space that catered to Black women’s interests and it was refreshing. However, there was always an underlining current of messiness, drama and White male worshiping that I ignored until it was too late. And I believe that this undercurrent will back them in the back one day.

 

The Slow Decline of BWE Empowerment

Christelyn Kazarin, a newcomer into the BWE blogsphere, came into the picture. She is everything that BWE Empowerment bloggers have suggested Black American do and emulate in order to succeed in society. Christelyn Kazarin is attractive, slim, educated Black American woman married to a White American man named Michael Kazarin. This woman runs her own blog called Beyond Black and White and created a campaign, No Wedding No Womb. No Wedding No Womb was a campaign where she encouraged Black American women to wait until they are married to have children. This was her effort to advice Black women to stop having children outside of marriage and set boundaries when it comes to finding a mate. Christelyn Kazarin’s mission was to help Black women broaden their options to include White and non Black men in their dating pool and vet them based on their character. Nonetheless there were some cracks that were beginning to form in the movement even before Christelyn Kazarin came on the scene.

I used to watch Christelyn Kazarin’s videos and frequent her blog. While I do believe she means well, she is hurting her own cause by responding to Black male misogynists on social media. Why not focus on Black women finding love and happiness with men of other races instead of responding to Black male misogynists and internalizing their horrid views on Black womanhood? Also Christelyn Kazarin doesn’t promote vetting non Black men that show interest in dating and courting Black women. On her site, she promoted a former White supremacist, that was an inspiring artist on her blog as a suitor just because he was in a relationship with a Black woman. Ironically, Christelyn would never promote a blue collar working Black man with a criminal record as a suitor on her site, which goes against the message of her blog. But she would promote a former White supremacist on her blog as a potential suitor. Neither a blue collar Black man with a criminal record nor the former White supremacist are good suitors for any Black woman. It just shows you the depths of Kazarin and her followers’ fascination with the color of a man’s skin instead of his character. Kazarin even promoted older White men, who were divorced with adult children, as suitors for younger Black women, such as myself on her blog. She said in one of her videos to choose character over color but her actions tell otherwise.

Last year, Kazarin put up a few videos that chronicled dates between a White man named Wes and a Black woman, Carrie. It was obvious that Wes wasn’t interested in Carrie because he cancelled on their date twice. Wes even asked Carrie if she were a prostitute once. Yet Carrie still continued to pursue him. At the end of the clip, he rejected her and decided that he didn’t want to pursue a relationship with her. I was disappointed that Christelyn Kazarin would make Black women look desperate in the pursuit of a White man that didn’t want her. That and the trolls on her site always putting White men on the pedestal was the last straw for me.

As of recently, Kazarin was in another incident where a White Youtuber, VeGainator do a Google Hangout with her to discuss why he chooses ”not to swirl”. Kazarin invited this man on her video to try to convince him to consider dating Black women, because she believed that he was being influenced by Black males to not consider Black women as options of mates. Then Vegainator made a video putting Christelyn Kazarin down after his Google Hangout with her. And he saw his subscriptions to his channel skyrocket. Many people on Youtube particularly the likes of Tommy Sotomayor got notoriety through bashing Black women on there. Vegainator even made a Google hangout with Tommy Sotomayor. Kazarin made a video where she was crying  because she expected Black men and Black people to come and defend her against the Vegainator. It is ironic how she and the BWE wanted Black men to come and defend her when she had made videos bashing Black men and bashing the Black Community for years. You don’t put down others and then expect them to come to your rescue when something goes awry. Worst of all, followers of her blog, Beyond Black and White were begging Vegainator to consider Black women as options of mates on the comment section of Youtube and got him fired from his job. Ironically, Vegainator is in a relationship with a Black woman right now. Though I no longer look at her videos or frequent her blog, I had a few friends, who did, tell me about this whole situation. Incidents are unfortunate and only ruins the validity of her blog and brand even further.

There was always some women in BWE Empowerment blogsphere who bickered and went back and forth with one another. Many of these women would call one another names such as Mammy to put down another woman whom she disagreed with. Or they would stab one another in the back and spread rumors about one another. I experienced a lot of dissent, drama and backbiting while I frequented such spaces. There was even rumors that I wasn’t a Black woman because they felt that my Facebook profile was fishy so I couldn’t be a Black woman in their eyes. And I used my government name on my Facebook profile and posted pictures of myself. How am I not a Black woman? Craziness. There was a time when this Black woman got mad at me because I had a disagreement with her over Marilyn Monroe. And Marilyn Monroe is a dead White woman.The pettiness and drama also turned me off from these spaces to the point that I would deactivate and leave my Facebook to focus on school and get away from them altogether.

Many of the women idolize and put White men on a pedestal. There is nothing wrong with interracial dating and marriage but White men’s character needs to be accurately vetted when it comes to relationships too. I do believe that Black women will benefit from dating and marrying interracially in the romantic sphere however I don’t believe that marrying a White man would solve the racism and sexism Black women face in society. In fact, it was White male colonization, slavery, racism and apartheid policies that has had negative effects on Black women’s condition in society. It was and still is the White man who puts his woman and other non Black woman ahead of Black women. If you don’t believe me, look at R&B singer, Nick Jonas’ casting call that only asked for Caucasian, Indian and South American women and excluded Black women. It is obvious that other races of men will always put their women first and foremost. Other races of man always protect and defend their women regardless of who they mate with. So many women in the BWE spaces have such low self esteem that they want to seek a non Black male who is willing to put down his race and woman to make themselves feel better. No, that will never happen because most non Black men have a sense of pride and dignity in their racial and cultural origins unlike Black men. Marrying White and non Black men isn’t a life accomplishment or medal of honor like many women in BWE Empowerment make it out to me. If a Black woman happens to find love and happiness outside of her race, I am fine with it but it is also important to have pride and dignity with yourself and your own racial and ethnic group.

In many ways, the actions of many Black men has added fuel to the fire. Colorstruck and misogynist Black men put White women on a pedestal because of their own internalized racism and self hatred. The reason why many Black men are so preoccupied with and set on mating with non Black women is because non Black women represent femininity, beauty, purity and womanhood and are protected and defended by just about everyone.They want to have the White man’s woman and have the power, resources and respect White men have without actually working for it. Also many of these Black men see having a White or non Black woman as a status symbol or trophy. As a collective, Black American men are defeated because of the fact that they fail to see beauty in their own reflection(Black women) and fail to build functioning communities for their women and children to grow up in, work in and thrive as individuals. Again, I understand the aghast and anger many women in BWE spaces have towards Black men but I don’t necessarily believe that marrying a White man will solve all the problems that Black women face in society. In all, I believe that both White American man’s patriarchal, racist, classist and capitalist infrastructure and Black American men’s misogynoir, colorism, intra racism and sexism structure in the Black collective has played a role in the Black woman’s state and condition in this country.

A few week ago, I deleted my Facebook profile to get away from such women and spaces. While I learned a lot about putting my self interests and needs first, I believe that it is time to leave BWE(Black Woman Empowerment) spaces behind. It is best to expand my mind and keep my mind open to other ideas and possibilities. It isn’t good to think one way and then expect others to think like one and promote group polarization. And I don’t have time for all of the drama and pettiness because I need to focus on doing well in my classes and complete all of them for an Associates degree. Hence the reasoning why I no longer frequent such spaces and will worry more about myself and the livelihood of Black women in society.

 

34 thoughts on “Trading In One Form of Oppressor For Another: Why I No Longer Look at BWE sites

  1. Yes! I am so glad that someone else sees this! They definitely trade in one form of patriarchy for another. I refuse to be lower than any man – no matter the race. I hate everything about patriarchy, no matter what race of man it comes from. However, many of these BWE and feminist-claiming Black women simply want to cape for other groups and submit to other races of men. That shows me that if Black males were to treat them better, they’d simply submit to him. They like being under men from what I see. Even Deva Fiyah (who’s over the Angry Devas website and Facebook page) posted a status telling Black women not to marry for love but wealth (which I understand to a degree but do not completely agree with). She then went on to say that Black women were slaves, not to educate them and that if I do, make them pay me. So many of these women who claim to be about something are definitely not about a damn thing. I’m seeing a lot of that. This is why I will remain on my spiritual path. I follow no one. Very few of our people are on a spiritual path and it shows.

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    • Many of those spaces advocate for Black women to marry men of other races particularly White men to boost their social and economic status in society. They want to seek validation and love from the White man because they see him as the alpha and dominant male due to being on top of the food chain in all aspects of society globally. There isn’t anything wrong with interracial dating nor is there anything wrong with women seeking love and validation but doing so to side with your oppressors wouldn’t end well. I am learning that so many of these groups aren’t really for Black women but for elevating and promoting non Black men as options of mates for Black women while throwing Black women under the bus. While I do believe more Black women should consider dating and marrying interracially, I don’t think Black women should enter such unions with blinders over their eyes.

      I also feel like Black women are put into a box. If a Black woman isn’t dark skin, slim, educated, from a middle to upper class background, attractive, speaks well, has no children and wears her natural hair long, she is vilified. Overweight Black women, Black women with children from multiple men, Black women from the ghetto and other Black women who don’t fit the ideal of respectability are put down and seen as ruining Black women’s chances of dating and marrying interracially. I happen to be dark skin, slim, in college, attractive, has no children and speaks well but I come from a lower income background. I also felt the burnt of their respectability politics especially when I posted an opinion. I was usually attacked if I said something that they didn’t agree with. So I modified my opinion to fit in and not be attacked like I was before. The way many of these groups put Black women in a box was the same way racists and Black male misogynists put Black women in a box of respectability.

      Rumors and backbiting are also prevalent in those spaces. I was in a feminist group called Misogyny Exposed. It was a group that was supposed to call out misogyny and patriarchal standards that hurt women but things got so bad that I had to leave the group. I left the group after me and a few other Black women called out this White female member for deflecting from the topic of misogyny that a Black woman in the group brought up. The leader of the group. Reena Walker was defending the White woman and throwing me and the other Black women under the bus. So I decided to leave the group. In fact, this woman named Karen Suazo that suspected that I wasn’t a Black woman because she said that my Facebook profile looked ”fishy”. Mind you, I have my government name on my Facebook profile(Angela Roselle is not my government name) and I regularly post pictures of myself and status updates about events that happen in my life. How can I not be a Black woman when I posted my government name and pictures on my profile? Eye rolls. I

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  2. Pingback: Finally Someone Else Said It – Ayaba's Labyrinth

  3. I have always believed that it’s a huge mistake to look at ANY man as a savior, and I saw a lot of fixation on white men as well. There’s a world of difference between putting white men on pedestals that they don’t deserve any more than black men do, and finding an individual white man that a black woman can form a happy, healthy relationship with.

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    • Very eloquently stated. It is a mistake to put any man on a pedestal regardless of his race and nationality. There are individual White men out there that are dating and marrying Black women but it doesn’t take away from the fact that systematic racism created by a few, powerful and wealthy White men still affects the lives of Black women. Just like if a Black woman is married to a Black male, it doesn’t take away from the fact that many Black males practice colorism, street harassment, rape, sexual harassment and misogyny against Black women. I am against patriarchy in all forms regarding of how and where it takes formation.

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  4. I had to delete one comment. This blog is not here for drama or rumors. This blog is here to address the disparities and problems that Black women face in this racist, classist and patriarchal society. That said, I am not against interracial dating and marriage at all but I am against the belief that marrying interracially will save a Black woman from facing racism, sexism and misogynoir.

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  5. The BWE sites have enormously helped me. I have always possessed intellectual curiosity, which is why I never got “stuck” in a state of mind, consciousness or thought. It is that intellectual curiosity which compels me to move beyond BWE.
    I agree with many of your observations; however, it is now time to take what has been generously given to me from BWE. I love their warmth, intelligence and courage. However, the false dichotomy is what I see as disconcerting, i.e. calling out a blatant fact or injustice as “caping for BM” or even indicating, however obtusely, the historical racial injustice in America as talking about “Dwight Man”.
    It has been ground breaking for BW to actually have our observations and thoughts articulated by these talented women. All of them should be held in great esteem. But it is a slippery slope if one wants to be in lock step with their patterns and not become the very thing to which they aver: da bruddahs.
    We’re all blessed to be BW and I bear them no ill will, as I am sure you do not either.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Your comment is very well stated and appreciated. I have also learned alot from reading the original Black Woman Empowerment blogs like Khadijah Nassif’s Muslim Bushido, Faith Dow’s Acts of Love and Faith and Halima Anderson’s How to Date A White Guy. I started reading those blogs when I left Black Nationalism and wanted to explore Black women’s view of history and things. I was impressed with what I read from the original founders of the Black Woman Empowerment Movement. However I wasn’t and still not happy about the group polarization, drama, backbiting, worshiping of White men and respectability politics geared towards Black women that I have seen in those spaces. Thus that has led me to take what I have learned from BWE and move beyond all of it.

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      • This is my second request. You are using my photo and likeness, along with my husband who is a private citizen without expressed permission to do so. This is a copyright violation. PLEASE REMOVE THE PHOTO.

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      • I took the photo off. I didn’t mean to copyright any of your pictures but the point of my post is to highlight the reason why I stopped frequenting BWE spaces. This blog is about issues that generate and affect Black American women. I partially wrote my blog to counteract the negativity that I have seen in many of these BWE spaces. I will always like the message of the original BWE founders but I believe it is time to move beyond BWE.

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      • @Christelyn

        I will not let you intimidate me or bully me into submission. A friend of mine showed me that using the picture wasn’t copyright infringement nor did I ever try to infringe on your copyright rights. Here is the link: http://libguides.mit.edu/usingimages

        You are nothing more than a passive aggressive woman, that can’t take differing opinions. Not everyone believes or agrees with you or me. It is life. I appreciate if you don’t come back on my blog and comment because I will ban you from doing so.

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  6. You made some extremely valid points in this article, particularly when you stated “In fact, it was White male colonization, slavery, racism and apartheid policies that has had negative effects on Black women’s condition in society.” The white man has always had access to us. That’s nothing new at all. Our fore-mothers were literally taken from the bedside of their husbands to the slave master’s bedchamber where he would sexually and physically abuse her and then take her back to her husband. We were and still are his playground. Interracial mating is no more than the white man fulfilling his fantasies, a taboo if you will.

    I am not saying this about all white men because some of them truly love the black women they are involved with. But as you stated, even when involved with a black woman a white man is still loyal to his race. We have to keep in mind that when a white man is with a black woman his money is still being filtered into his community. Though he is with a black woman, his social and financial loyalty will always be with his race.

    The promotion of interracial mating is not about options as so many claim it to be. It is about promoting the white man over the black man. Because if it were truly about options there is an entire continent full of eligible, date-able black men. A good number of men in Africa are financially stable and educated and have good morals and values. The same goes for men of color in the Caribbean Islands and the Middle East. Why aren’t these types of relationships being promoted?

    What we have to understand as a race is that all black men aren’t bad just as all black women aren’t bad. Sadly, we all get lumped together when one or a few of us does something wrong. That’s the plight of a black person in American society. We are systematically demonized which does nothing but cause us to hate ourselves. So we look outside of us to try to find solutions to our problems when the whole time the answer is within us.

    We have to fix ourselves and deal with the self-hate that has been built up in us as a people and not attack each other. In fact, we need to be committed to building up our race not running away from it. Interracial mating not only destroys the black community, it destroys the individuals who are involved in the situation. You see what most of these black women involved with white men don’t tell you is the discrimination that they face in these relationships. They catch a lot of flak from both sides of the fence. Many times they deal with being ostracized by his family and friends. Sometimes the white men are just as abusive, if not worse, than the black men they have been involved with. And no matter what, race is always the elephant in the room.

    I have spoken to many black women who have been through these things. Some left the relationship and others say if they had it to do again they would not get involved in an interracial relationship. It’s very stressful and few people who promote this rarely talk about divorce rates in these types of relationships.

    As you so elegantly wrote, trading in one form of oppression for another is absolutely senseless. We need to focus on building ourselves up instead of seeking false security in an interracial relationship.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Your whole comment was very poignant and well written. You really hit it on the nail on this one.

      BWE Movement started with good intentions but it is slowly going down a slippery path. Khadijah, Faith Dow and other BWE founders taught their followers ways to survive and put themselves first. Interracial dating and marriage was discussed but wasn’t seen as the holy grail like it is seen now in some BWE spaces. Overall, their spaces were pretty much moderated and resourceful.
      However I believe many new comers have come in the movement and hijacked it. Some of these women have been so trautimatized and hurt by their experiences within Black circles that interracial dating is the way out for them.

      I am not against interracial dating and marriage(I am interested in doing so myself). I am against the belief that interracially dating and marrying White men will solve all of the problems Black women face in society. As for Black women and White men relationships, I am pretty familiar with them since I know a few Black women in relationships with White men. Including my cousin, who only dates non Black men. What I have noticed is that many Black women in these relationships have low self esteem and self hating ie my cousin while other Black women are happy and have found their suitable mate in a particular White male. These type of couplings get alot of backlash from Black collective and outside of the Black collective due to history between Whites and Blacks and double standards of Black women and Black men dating and marrying out. So I am aware these couplings catch hell on both sides and that the grass isn’t necessarily greener on the other side.

      Many BWE spaces don’t speak about the downsides of dating and marrying outside of their race because it will ruin any illusion of a fairytale interracial marriage. Again, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be in an interracial union but go at it with open eyes and ears.

      Much of their promoting of interracial dating has to do with getting back at Black males who have dated and married interracially. So the White man is their ideal even though there are Hispanic, Asian, Native American, Middle Eastern etc that a Black woman can choose from if she wanted to mate interracially. It isn’t a good thing to consider mating out if one wants to get back at their opposite sex.

      The best comment that you made is what I pointed out in my article: White men put their women first. Every other race of man except Black men put their women first. Other races of men would never uplift a woman of another race over their own. Even if an individual White man loves Black women( I know a few who do), he will always be loyal to his race first.

      Overall, I appreciate your comment and input. It was very resourceful.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Another ironic thing about your comment is that I was just looking at your site, African American Abroad last night. I am interested in traveling and moving abroad after I finish college and get my finances together. However, I am quite pleased with the set up of your site and reading your posts on traveling abroad has been helpful for me.

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  7. This was a refreshing blog post! Like you, I have pulled away from following the more current and trending BWE personalities online. I read Khadijah’s blog and that is it. I’d caution Black women to be take what wisdom they glean and discard the excess. Also be careful in getting close to the self-appointed BWE gurus and/or sharing your personal business in BWE groups. Some Black women have been left exposed and hurt when their fake sisters spilled intimate details of their lives out of pettiness.

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    • I appreciate your response. Reading the early BWE pioneers such as Khadijah is good because these women have offered life saving solutions to help Black women navigate the world around them. Unfortunately, many newcomers have come in and bastardized the message of the movement. The only newcomer I thought was genuine was Breukelyn Bleu.

      The reasons why I don’t really frequent BWE spaces anymore is due to newcomers coming in and bastardizing the message, too much focus on men especially White men, posts and comments in BWE spheres that promote fat shaming, classism, respectability politics and heterosexism, there is alot of drama, backstabbing and spreading rumors in these spaces and I don’t think that many of them are for the advancement of Black women in society.

      Oh, I will take your word on it about women in those spaces taking private information about other women and releasing it to the public. I have had that happen to me before. And it wasn’t a nice thing. I need to delete my Facebook and get my FB page away from association with those spaces. I already deactivated my FB to focus on school but I need to delete it soon.

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      • So have I. I will delete my current Facebook and probably make a new one not aligned with those types. I said probably because I don’t know if I would even make another Facebook profile again.

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  8. I am a newcomer to the blogging world and my blog is going to talk about African American women empowerment. I haven’t researched some of the BWE blogs and I think it’s crazy to focus on men it’s women empowerment for a reason and not to say that can’t include men but it shouldn’t make up the whole movement for empowering our sisters.

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    • The intense focus on men is very patriarchal leaning and not empowering. I believe Black women must love themselves and learn about their history and heritage instead of catering to counteractive dogma and spaces. I know this all too well because I have been through alot of insecurities and aghast in the past but I am now healing.

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      • Yes it is and reading your blog on this topic it’s so sad to me that some African American women want to solely be with white man for power, status, and privilege. I agree with you on the self love that what I wrote about on my blog today my first post that I wrote and how it is so important to have it for yourself first then you can learn to love someone else.

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      • I agree. When my self esteem was at my lowest, I loved reading BWE spaces and blogs but I am beginning to pull way from them. There are some good information on some BWE blogs that does pertain to Black women but I don’t like what has become of it these days.

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      • I am still trying to repair my self esteem. I want to be need to be emotionally, occupation wise and career wise. Writing my blog is my only solace in this crazy world. From looking at your blog, it seems nice and has a positive message behind it

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      • Yeah I believe the blog is therapeutic and fun at the same time. Yeah that was what I was going for a positive message about African American women and to educate women on self love, mental health and me being a feminist and getting rid of stereotypes of African Women because we have so many. To have is come together instead of tearing each other down or judging each other for being different.

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  9. As the end of the year nears, I have been some updates to this post. And I have officially deleted my Facebook so that I can focus on school and my new job in a week or so. I would wish everyone Happy Holidays.

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  10. This was very satisfying to do. Getting the several long ones made it easier to fill in the blanks. My favourite was 6d – had to confirm that it was the right word. I agree with gnomethang regarding 12,21 and27/28a – they were good ona.hTsenks Elgar for a good Toughie and thank you Anax for your review.

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  11. Salve qui è la redazione di Telegolfo wwe.ewltgolfo.it qui è arrivata una forma del messaggio che indicava l’ospedale dove c’èra l’emergenza quello di Formia,località a noi vicina,il resto del messaggio è identico a quello riportato nei vari post.cordiali saluti

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  12. I ended up buying that set of cutters and the elephant, rabbit, bear and I LOVE thm…ejust the right size and so very cute. Thanks again for sharing.

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