Black women, giving up on black love…

This whole ”Black love” paradigm is what keeps Black women single and devoted to a collective of men who don’t reciprocate back that same loyalty and devotion. If you look around, you don’t see many Black males waiting around for some unicorn Black woman to marry. I see many of them dating and marrying women of other ethnicities while carrying whatever resources that they could have brought to their communities in the hands of non Blacks. Statistics show that 25% of Black American men are married interracially. Plus many Black American men have so little regard for the welfare and plight of Black women and girls. Why in the world should any Black American woman wait around for a Black American male to come around? Especially when so many of these men have shown through their words and actions that they don’t like, desire or want Black women.

I never believed in ”Black love” because I wasn’t raised to believe that Black couples were superior to same race couplings from other races. Black couples are just Black couples to me and the same with White couples etc. I was also taught that a man should be vetted based on his character, shared values, honesty, loyalty and whether or not he genuinely loved and cared about me NOT his race. I think more Black American women should include men of all races in their dating and marriage pool and vet them based on their character. More of us will more likely to find mates being open to the possibility of finding a decent mate to settle down with regardless of his racial and ethnic origin than waiting on a ”good, Black man” to come their way.

Much of it is due to programming in the Black collective. Black males can date and marry whoever they want to while Black women were conditioned to only mate with Black males. If a Black woman thinks about or dates and marries a non Black man particularly a White man, she is seen as a sellout and bed wench. The reason why they were conditioned to stay with Black males romantically is because of the shared history and cultural heritage that they share with these men. Also because of the belief that White man is evil and that Black women shouldn’t date and marry one of their oppressors. Black women are the backbone of the ”Black Community”(There isn’t such thing as the Black Community if you ask me). Without the Black woman, the ”Black Community” as you know it wouldn’t even thrive because Black women are the ones who uphold it. Without Black women’s time, money, resources and womb, the community wouldn’t thrive and the Black male wouldn’t have anyone to really help elevate him in society. So it is convenient for many in the Black collective to keep Black women from expanding her options and stuck in a ”Black love” and ”uplift the Black family” rut. Without her time, effect and resources, Black America wouldn’t even exist.

There isn’t anything wrong with preferring your own race but sitting around waiting for some Black male unicorn to come and marry them isn’t the way to go. Black woman’s loyalty and devotion to all things Black including her romantic pursuits is what is keeping her from finding love and happiness where she may find it. Hence I believe that Black love is nothing more than a sabotaging paradigm that keeps Black women from finding love and happiness.

2 thoughts on “Black women, giving up on black love…

  1. I think more bw are marrying inter racially, the last couple of weddings I’ve been to have been bw/wm. I’m not saying whether this is a good or bad thing or whatever, but I notice I’m hearing less of the black kings rhetoric. That 25% stat was only for one year, not overall btw. It came from pew. Bottom line, marrying inter racially won’t erase racism or keep you from getting profiled, so if you are going outside your race to escape being black, you’ll be disappointed. I also never liked the term black love because I think it objectifies Bp who are married to each other, I don’t know term has always rubbed me wrong.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I never like the term, Black love either. While I believe it is great that more Black women are expanding their dating options to include non Black men, I agree that it wouldn’t save them from the racism and sexism they face in society. However, I do think more Black women need to let go of their unrequitted loyalty to Black males and the Black collective in order to find love and happiness wherever they may find it.

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